Simply Chaotic
by waterproofbacon
Summary: A compilation of various yaoi themes. Adam is a high schooler with a big secret. His father, who he hates, is involved with gangs. This would be fine except for the fact that the gangs always manage to hurt everyone Adam has ever loved. So Adam decides it's best to be completely alone forever. Until he meets Blake, who turns everything upside down and might just teach Adam to love.
1. Chapter 1: The Encounter

**Author's Notes:** Hello everyone! This is my first writing thing. I must admit that this isn't a fan fiction. It's a short story that was inspired by the yaoi tht I have watched and read. Mainly Junjou Romantica and Sekaiichi Hatsukoi. The first and third chapters are rather short and kinda boring. Nonetheless, I hope you all enjoy. :)

**Chapter 1**

"I'm having a party at my place tonight at nine as sort of an introduction for myself. You're gonna be there right?" said the new kid Blake. His black hair and blue eyes were alluring, his eyes staring into my very essence.  
"Yeah, well I really wish I could but I have a cram-session with my name on it tonight." I said trying to sound genuinely sincere while plastering a big-ass smile to my face.  
"Aw c'mon man, that's no fun... but whatever floats your boat. At least gimme your cell number."  
So I did, and that was that. After that, I got away from him using the excuse that it was my turn to make dinner tonight. Not a complete lie. Since my dad wasn't good for anything but causing trouble, I'd been making dinner for myself since I was 8.  
Nothing has changed. When I got home, Dad was on the couch, wasted once again. I haven't spoken to him in weeks and quite frankly, I don't want to. Any 30 year old man who impregnated an 18 year old woman is no good. My mother, my one light in the world, died a few months ago. Hit by a drunk driver. I loved her. And, the most infuriating thing, my father, who had already been involved in a shady business, was the reason she died. If he hadn't demanded another beer pack, if my mother hadn't had the great heart that she did and agreed to go buy some, she would be alive now. Alive and with me. I hate him, he's a disgusting human being whom I'm ashamed to admit put himself inside my beautiful mother and was half of the reason why I was born. He can go die for all I care. I'm waiting for alcohol poisoning; Liver disease can be a bitch.  
I went into my room and did anything but study, I didn't need to anyways, I already knew everything that had been taught. I had to; it was needed to get into college, get a degree, and make a nice living far away from my dad. Anything besides books and technology that still functioned was scarce in my house. I read books about kids with wings, a boy on a quest for jewels, and zombies. Anything to get my mind out of the cold cruel truth that is reality.  
A few hours later, I was really hungry; I knew that if I wanted to be fed, I'd have to make something myself since dad was still in an alcohol-induced coma. This, however, is extremely difficult when there is no food in the house. I sighed, typical. Well, nothing to do but to go buy food. I went to the nearest pizza shop, a small but nice store that sealed hot, delicious pizza for a pretty low price 24/7. However I wasn't expecting what I saw when I stepped into the pizza heaven. There, a boy of my age with deep blue eyes and black hair stood in skinny black jeans, black Vans with blue laces and a blue T-shirt that hugged his torso. It was Blake. Shit.  
"Hey long time no see. I thought you were studying." he said. Damn of all the people, and he's caught me in a lie.  
"Um, yeah, well you see, er-" I stuttered.  
Blake laughed a musical laugh. "I so knew you were lying. C'mon dude, just come to the party. It starts in half an hour, that should be plenty of time to go home, doll yourself up and get over to my house."  
Great, I was slowly getting pulled in. The pizza girl from behind the counter gave Blake a mountain of pizza boxes which, I assumed, were for his party.  
"Great," Blake said, his face hidden behind the stack of pizza boxes. "So I'll see you there. I'll text you the address, see ya!" he ran out before I had the chance to tell him no.


	2. Chapter 2: Lust

I can't believe I came. Parties + me = bad things. Oh well. I walked into Blake's house (a friggin' McMansion by the way) wearing my Friday best, black skinny jeans, and a black and gray striped shirt. When I got there I could tell this night was gonna be crazy. I was about half an hour late and already some people were wasted silly. I worked my way through the house, sliding past couples that were clearly getting it on and a pack of really bad dancers that just so happened to also be drunk. What was I doing anyways? Looking for Blake a small voice in my head reminded me. After searching for awhile (and walking in on some couples who were apparently very intimate), I finally found him. He was in the kitchen with a crowd of girls on each side fawning over him, hanging on his every word. When he saw me though, he said something nice to the crowd as a goodbye and slowly started working his way to me. When he finally made it he said, "Hey! You came, I'm so glad."  
"Well you really didn't leave much room to say no." I replied. We started trying to make small talk which failed miserably, every two seconds someone would feel the need to talk to Blake or the music was too loud to hear anything.  
Finally, Blake said, "Let's go to my room where we can actually have a decent conversation." I happily followed.  
His bedroom was secluded from the house, it was on the top floor and you had to use a bunch of staircases to reach it. When we got there my ears felt a lot better with all the noise causers below us. I stepped in first and he came in second. The room was huge and tidy. There were posters of bands plastered on the walls like some makeshift wallpaper, a door that led to a huge bathroom, a walk-in closet, and, in the corner, a small stage set up with a guitar, bass, drums and mic. It looked like it was set up and ready for anyone to get up and play. In the center of it all, a king size double mattress. I was feeling great until I heard the click of the door's lock. I turned around to face Blake but it turned out that he was much closer than I thought. So close in fact, that when he turned around, there was only about 3 inches in between our faces. "Bla-" I tried to say his name but the word was smothered by Blake's lips.  
Surprised, I jumped back.  
"W-w-what the hell do you think you're doing?" I yelled in shock  
"I think I'm taking what I want." he replied matter-of-factly.  
"And who ever said you could do that?" I asked. "Why would you even want that?"  
He sighed. "I want you Adam, you're friggin' hot and I've been wanting to get in your pants every since I saw you on Monday." his face displayed a cocky grin that said he always got what he wanted.  
"That's great, really, but I think I've had enough for one night." I said cautiously, moving to the door.  
He grabbed my arm, embraced my whole body, all while smothering my lips with his, his hands moving down and cupping my crotch. I moaned.  
"Now shut up and enjoy this."  
He pushed me onto the bed causing me to land with my back down. He joined me seconds later, hovering above me. He kissed me again as I tried to push him away. "S-stop Blake!" I yelled.  
"What's that? Keep going? Well if you insist." he replied with a devilish grin. His hand slowly snaked down my body. When he reached my waist, he pulled off my shirt and tossed it aside like it was some bothersome piece of trash. But he didn't stop there. His hands explored the curves of my body, my biceps, my abs, my ass, and, what seemed to be his favorite part, the bulge in my pants. He started to massage it while he kissed me and I started to moan again in what horrified me as pleasure. He smiled and continued to strip me. He grabbed my belt and ripped it off, but right when he was about to unzip my pants, he abruptly stopped and rolled over so that we were laying side by side.  
"What are you doing?" I asked, a slight hint of desperation was in my voice, caused by the abrupt stop.  
"I don't believe in rape." he sounded suddenly serious. "If you want me to, I'll continue. And, by the sound of desperation in your voice and all the moans you made, I'd say you want more." he sounded cocky again.  
Want more. Was that really true? But we're both guys! Then again, I've had plenty of girlfriends and none of them made me feel this alive, this desperate for touch. They always made me bored. Does that mean that I'm gay? I've never been interested in guys before, but Blake, he's different. He's giving me the option to say no and leave. But if I do, I know I'll regret it. And right now, I'm feeling pretty rebellious and curious. Why the hell not? They say this age is the time for experimenting... And if I don't like it, I can always push him off and leave.  
"Blake, I want you to fuck me." I said. A bold move on my part.  
He grinned "Well then, you're gonna have to ask me with your body."  
And I did, I got on top of him, ripped his shirt off and mashed my lips onto his. My mouth opened and let my tongue explore his mouth.  
My hands went to his belt and soon that came off too. He helped me get rid of the pants. I was about to take off his boxers when suddenly he flipped me over, taking the wheel. My pants went off instantly and then only boxers were separating me from him. He took his off, slowly, causing me to agonize due to the longer wait. He smiled against my lips when he saw how anxious I was. Finally they were off (victory!) but Blake wasted no time with mine. All I know is one second I had boxers and the next I didn't. Blake grabbed my cock and started rubbing. I grabbed onto the headboard for support. The wet mixture was building up inside of me and threatening to come out.  
"Blake, I... I'm gonna-," an intake of breath," Soon." I panted, trying my best to keep it in. But my best didn't stop the small trickle that came out. Blake laughed and said, "Now now my dear Adam, who ever said that you were allowed to come?" he asked. "You have to ask me nicely." he said. And so I did. I sat up, my back facing to headboard and reached for him. My mouth met his and I passionately kissed him. When I finally let go, I whispered, "Please let me come, Blake."  
He smiled and wrapped me in his arms. "Of course you can Adam, and don't be scared, I'll be right here with you." And so I let go, right there with Blake holding me in his arms and whispering to me about how good I was and how the fun part can start now. When I was done, he went down to the area in between my spread legs and licked. This caused a groan from me while he finished and licked his lips. The same lips that, when he put them on mine, tasted like me.  
Now came the good part, the part the I didn't quite understand.  
"I'm sure this is your first time doing it this way." Blake said before he began. I was now face down on a pillow; I nodded in response. "Well that's great!" he said. "That makes me feel so happy, I'm you're first one. Don't worry, I'll be gentle. But if you want more," I could hear the smile in his voice, "You know how to ask."  
He began by getting onto his knees and telling me to go on all four's. His tongue started at the top of my spine and went all the way down past my backbone and towards my opening. He licked and I felt pure pleasure that caused a moan to escape from my lips. He stuck his fingers in. One finger and then another. A hot pain built up from his touch and a groan of pain escaped my lips. And then his dick went into me. I groaned again due to the pain but started to relax when it felt natural to be there. I grabbed the blankets, the headboard, anything to brace me for more. He thrusted me and pulled me towards him and kissed me and started telling me he loved me. After awhile, I wanted to return the favor. Right when I knew he wouldn't expect it, I flipped him over and switched positions. Now, I was hovering over him and he was face up, staring at me in what started as surprise but then melted into happiness.  
"You want a turn now?" he asked, smiling big. I nodded. He grinned bigger. "You don't know how happy that makes me feel." and we started the process over. He groaned, I smiled because I gave him payback. And more and more, he told me he loved me. I was starting to believe it. The scary thing is, though, that I'm starting to feel the same way. After a long time of hot sex, we stopped, both panting and sweating. I fell onto the bed and he held me to himself, stroking my hair.  
"You did such a good job, Adam. I haven't had that much fun in awhile." I curled in closer to him and tried to calm my breathing.  
"That thing that you said, about loving me, is that true?" I asked.  
"Yes," he replied, "Sure, I've said it to plenty other people. Both men and women, but that was just pillow talk. Right now though, I'm starting to believe that it's true."  
"Why?" I asked.  
"Well, first off, no one has ever challenged me like that and flipped me over like you did on the first try. And plus, I could tell that you weren't doing this because you thought I was hot or you wanted money or anything like that. I'm fairly certain that you only did this because you were curious." damn, am I really that predictable? "But as the night went on, I could tell that you stayed because you wanted to. This is gonna sound cheesy but you honestly made me feel special and wanted."  
But then reality dawned. This man, whom I may very well be in love with, can only get hurt because of me. If any of the greasy guys my dad hangs out with ever touched a finger on him, I'd hate it. I have to push him away, keep him away, for his own good. I sat up abruptly and put as much ice in my voice as I could.  
"Stay away from me damn it." I said coldly.  
"Wha-?" Blake asked, confused.  
"I said stay away! You need serious help if you think you can randomly lure a guy into your room and fuck him!" I yelled. "Taking advantage of my curiosity, and then having the gall to say that I stayed because I liked it. Please."  
"But you said yes, you asked me for it, for more."  
Damn, he was making this so hard. I was on the verge of tears. "That was then, this is now."  
"But I love you."  
That did it, just four simple words and the tears broke free. I turned to him and buried my head in his bare chest.  
"I hate you, damn it. I hate how I care about you so much right now."  
"Then why do you want me to leave you alone?" he asked  
"Can't you see that I don't?"  
"Adam, I don't understand."  
So I told him. I told him how I can't love because if I do, there's a chance that he will be hurt because I'm involved with my dad who is involved with horrible gangs.  
Just then, Blake punched me, hard in the jaw and held my face in his hands, forcing me to look him right in the eyes. "Listen to me and hear me well. I'm no dumb damsel who gets captured all the time." his eyes softened. "I can take care of myself. So don't worry about me. The only thing that will contribute to my demise is you leaving me. Do you know why?"  
"Why?"  
"Because I fucking love you Adam." he finished. He kissed me passionately and I kissed him back with everything I had.  
God, if you're truly out there, please protect Blake. I don't care about me but please, keep him safe.


	3. Chapter 3: Longing

Shortly after that, Blake and I fell asleep in each others' arms. Everything had seemed like a dream and when I woke up in bed with another man I was more than a little confused at first. But the adrenaline that filled my body just by looking at Blake reminded me that I may have possibly found that thing called true love. Not that I would ever tell him, I mean, I wasn't even fully sure of it yet. So I slept with him once and had fun, so what? Ugh. I needed a shower. I was... sticky.  
I got out of his comfy bed and went on a mission to find my clothes. Knowing how ruff Blake had been regarding clothing removal, they could be anywhere. After a little time looking, I found my boxers on the lamp, my pants hanging off the TV, and my shirt on the floor near the band set-up.  
Smiling after I found the last article of clothing, I stood and walked into the bathroom, closing the door. A few seconds later, I was in the shower, enjoying the hot water on my back and singing some song I had heard on the radio.  
Suddenly, the sliding door on the shower opened and hands grabbed my body. Or, more specifically, my ass. Blake stepped into the shower with me, he was also naked like me.  
"God, you scared me Blake." I said  
"Good morning to you too, love." he replied sweetly. He kissed me. But this was a special kiss, it was one were it started small but as time went on, it becomes more and more passionate. Blake's hands were all over my body and my hands on his. His tongue snaked out of his mouth and into mine where it played with my own tongue. He backed me up against the tiled wall which caused me to moan since it was my hot skin on cold tile. That hit it off. Nothing like a good shower sex to wake you up in the morning.  
When Blake let my body go, both of us panting, we proceeded to cleaning each other's bodies with the many soaps and shampoos in Blake's bathroom. When we finished, we both stepped out and dried ourselves off with towels and clothed ourselves. Stumbling with pleasure out of the bathroom, we embraced each other in the middle of Blake's room, sliding down to the floor with me in Blake's arms.  
"I don't want you to leave me." Blake said. "I'd feel better if you just stayed with me."  
"You know I can't do that." I said. "But I wish I could."  
"But from the sounds of it, you're house isn't all that safe for you as long as your father owns it and those goonies know how to get to it." he had a point.  
"I know, but it's still my house. I have to go back." I looked up and kissed him. "I have your cell number, if anything happens, I'll call you." I said and got up, sad to leave his arms.  
"Adam?" he called right before I turned the knob on the door.  
"Yes?" I replied.  
"I love you." he said, warmth dripping off his voice.  
I smiled at him. However I couldn't bring myself to tell him I loved him too. I turned the knob and left his house before any of the emotions that swirled through my body could escape.


	4. Chapter 4: Loneliness

That night, my worst fear came true. Cade. The leader of the huge gang, Master Stroke, that constantly causes hell for me. He burst into our house one night, calling my name.  
"Adam, oh Adam!" I heard Cade call, I could already hear the stupid grin on his face. I groaned. Great. This guy. I emerged from my room and found him in the living room.  
"What do you want Cade?" I asked, annoyed.  
"Oh, I think you're gonna want to hear what I have to say." He said, an evil grin splitting his face in two.  
"Yes, because I just love your voice oh so much." I said. The sarcasm was practically palpable.  
"Good." he held up a picture of Blake. My body ran cold. Cade smiled at my reaction. "Ah, you've suddenly grown very quiet Adam, is anything the matter?" he cackled while I scowled at him. He tsked "Aw, don't make that face at me. But honestly, I had no idea that you swam that way." he stormed over to where I was standing and took me face in his hands, his lips finding mine. He gave me a fierce and slobbery kiss that made my insides crawl.  
"I'll make you a deal. You become mine, forever, and forget about that Blake guy. I'll make sure I'm worth your while. And, now this is very generous of me, if you do this, I'll forget all about Blake and, I'll cut out a chunk of your dad's debt to me." he stood back with a smug look on his face, knowing he had me. I couldn't care less about dad's debt, he'd just get us into more. But Blake, I don't care what he said, he doesn't know what he's talking about. He could never stand up to the Master Stroke.  
I sighed. "Can you give me a little time? I'll have an answer for you by tomorrow." I said.  
"You have until 9 PM tomorrow." he scratched down something on a stray piece of paper and handed it to me. "My number bebe." Bade said, "You'll need it. Make sure you put it on speed dial." he said with a wink. Then, he slinked out of my house. Though his body left, the chill he gave me stayed.  
I'll never get to see Blake again. The very thought seems unbearable... but I'll have to suck it up and deal, for him.

When the freedom bell finally rang at the end of school, I was feeling like a weight was on my back. So this is what true sacrifice feels like? I thought. Scanning over the sea of stir crazy teens in the hallway, I tried to pinpoint a familiar black haired, blue eyed sexy devil. Blake and I were supposed to hang out after school. Plus I had a surprise for him: his favorite snack, cookies and Mountain Dew (a gross combo in my opinion). It was a subtle goodbye and I figured I'd start out last date off right. But when I finally found him in the acting classroom, he looked like he was having a good enough time. A blond girl dressed as a cheerleader was all over him, I'm talking hand on ass, lips on neck. He was telling her how much he loved her while she giggled and wrapped her arms around his waist.  
I felt hot tears spring to my eyes and at that moment, I did all I could. I ran all the way down the long hallway, turn the corner, and chucked the treats onto the nearest locker cluster. I didn't stick around too long to see what happened next.  
I was running out the school and I was on my bike before anyone could stop me. Tears were streaming down my face while a million thoughts jumbled through my head on high-speed. But even in the brain ruckus, one thought rang out clear: If I accept the deal, he can have a happy life with his new girlfriend. Suddenly, never seeing Blake didn't seem like such an unbearable thing anymore.  
I got home in record time. I threw my bike on the ground, stormed into the house, and locked myself in my room. Cade's paper was hung on my billboard, and I whipped out my phone to make the call.  
Nine o'clock and I was standing in front of Cade's house. Sure, fear flowed through my veins but I ignored it. My anger was stronger.  
I rang the doorbell and was emitted into Cade's home, I will be spending much more time here in the future. Cade slid into the living room to greet me with a big slobbery kiss. Once again, I wanted to cringe but I knew I couldn't.  
He never exchanged a single word to me, just started taking me into the bedroom and locking the door. Silently, I laid on the bed and waited for Cade to come on top of me. He literally ripped off my clothing and cast it off like an unwanted piece of trash, the tatters of what used to be my clothes fluttered to the ground. His clothes were off in seconds and then it was down to business. I hated it. Cade's hands all over my body, touching my curves, my abs, my ass. He was rough and it was like every touch left a burn on me. His tongue slithered out of his mouth and started wetting my skin. I cringed but I don't think he noticed. That went on for awhile, but it was just a warm-up. I though that was bad, the next thing was even worse.  
He suddenly got off me and exited the bed. For a second, I though I was free, then I saw the rope.  
Bade's bed had 4 big posts and a headboard. Bade tied my feet to the bottom two posts and my hands were tied together above my head somehow attached to the headboard.  
Once that was done, Bade once again came on top of me, but this time, he went straight down to my opening. He licked and then stuck in his fingers causing me to flinch. Suddenly, he was inside me, and it hurt. There was no love here, not like what I felt with Blake. It burned and I wanted it to stop. I started yelling which only caused Cade to smile.  
"Yell and holler all you want, nobody can hear you."  
Blake. I miss you Blake, but I can't have you. At this, I started crying, only causing Cade to cackle with cynical laughter.  
"Yes! Yes! Cry! Call for your 'Oh so precious Blake!' He's not gonna help!" he said, speeding up.  
The pain caused me to yelp and I yelled "Blake!"

Just then the door fell down, ripped from it's hinges. In it's wake, stood a beautiful creature, a dark savior. His body cast a shadow that fell onto me and Cade.  
"Blake." I breathed softly  
His eyes fell on me, widened, and then hardened. His gaze went to Cade as he strode gracefully across the room. When he reached the bed, he yanked Cade's arm, causing him to get ripped off me and fly across the room. He landed on the floor and, without hesitation, Blake got on top of him and started beating the crap out of him. Finally, when it was apparent that Cade was unconscious, he stopped.  
Blake turned to me, and I was reminded why I felt all of the emotions I did for him, even though I would never admit to them. His eyes told it all.  
Suddenly, I remembered the situation, remembered that I was butt-naked and tied down in bed in sex position. I closed my eyes and blushed.  
"Don't look!" I said bashfully, too embarrassed to even look at him.  
He laughed, "This is so like you. You don't go 'Oh Blake, my hero!' or ask me to untie you, you just curl up to the best of your abilities and tell me not to look." I opened my eyes and saw him grinning at me. "Dummy." he stepped over Cade's unconscious body and came to me, working on the knots that held me down. When he was done, he collapsed onto the edge of the bed and held me tight to him.  
"What the hell were you doing in a place like this?" he said, his voice worried. "I swear to God, if your father had anything to do with this, if that," he gestured to Cade, "kidnapped you, I'll do more than knock his lights out." he said, anger pulsating in his voice.  
I finally spoke. "What are you doing here Blake?" I asked  
"I came to save you! You never showed for our date so I asked around for your address. When I got there, no one was home so I broke in. I saw the note you left for your dad telling him you were here and tada! Blake to the rescue!"  
"Why are you here, with me?" I asked, tears finding their way to my eyes, threatening to fall at any moment."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"I'm talking about that hot cheerleader chick, okay?!" I finally yelled, tears falling down my face. "I saw you damn it! You two were clearly having a moment so I figured I'd just leave. When I got home, Cade came and informed me that he knew about you and me. He said if I became his lover and forgot about you, he'd forget about you and he'd cut a chunk of my dad's debt. I was gonna do it for you, so that you wouldn't get hurt. Then I saw you and that girl, I figured you wouldn't have any objections because you'd get a happy life with a pretty girl." I finished, trying to suck up the tears.  
"Courtney is an actress. She's in a show where she has to be really slutty and air-headed. She asked me if I could help her out so I said sure. What you saw wasn't real." he said, his hand finding it's way to my face, cupping my chin. "I love you and only you. That's all that really matters." And then he kissed me. But it wasn't an ordinary kiss, he had kissed me with all of the love he had for me. If you were to take all the love that ever existed in the world and smushed it into a single kiss, a single feeling, that's what it felt like. To be loved despite the flaws and cracks that appear in the human existence. He saved me, not only from Cade, not only from my father, but from myself, from my own fear. He saved me with the love that I had never felt.  
He broke apart, his breath hot on my skin and slightly ragged, "Not now. This place isn't exactly safe. Let's get you out of here." he put his hands on my bare stomach where Cade's roughness had left big purple bruises. I cringed when he put pressure on my weak spots. He only frowned, "Can you walk?" he asked seriously. I started to nod but suddenly his arms were around me, holding me up bridal style. My head was to his chest, he held me so tight that I could hear his heartbeat. I clung to his shirt as he started to walk out of the room. When he approached Cade's body on the floor, he made sure to give it a final healthy kick. "I can't believe that- that utter filth placed his dirty hands, his- his- put himself inside of you. Are you sure that you're okay?" he asked sincerely.  
"Yes, I'm fine now that you're with me, Blake." I closed my eyes and started to silently cry. Blake must've felt the wetness on his shirt because he asked, "What's wrong my sweet sweet Adam? Do you want me to go finish that punk off? Because I will, just give the word."  
"No, no. That's not needed, it's just that... You came for me. I thought I would be stuck there for eternity but, but you came."  
"Yes, yes I did. You have nothing else to be afraid of. Go to sleep, we'll be home soon and I'll protect you. You've been through enough for today."  
He opened the door to his super sleek Mercedes Benz and laid me down gently on the cushy leather seat of the passenger side seat.  
The minute Blake got in on the drivers side and started to drive, I dozed off like a small baby. Who knew that I had been so tired?


	5. Chapter 5: Doubt

od knows how long I slept. All that I know is that the hairs on my skin started to prickle at the small sensation of warm swirls of air playing on my cheek. This aroused me from my comfortable sleep and lifted my eyes lazily open to reveal a beautiful angel. Blake had his eyes happily gazing down on me, his body leaning over the car to invade my personal space.  
"Nice to see you awake, Princess." he whispered in my ear as he bit down on my ear.  
I closed my ears and blushed at the sudden nip. "I- I'm not anybody's Princess." I stuttered, completely distracted by his scent, his face, ever so close... No! Pull yourself together!  
I lightly pushed him back onto his side of the car as I exited the vehicle. When I looked around however, I didn't see the familiar apartment complex, the parking lot for cars that looked like poop or the gang of hobo drug addicts that always huddled together inside cardboard boxes by the dumpster. Instead I saw the super ultra chic and shiny McMansion that belonged to Blake.  
"What gives? I thought we were going to my house?" I whined crankily  
"Will your father be there?" he asked cooly  
I checked the clock on my phone: 12 o'clock. Dad would most likely be stumbling into the apartment by now, "Yeah, most likely." I answered with a tired sigh  
"And do you think that that is the best place for sex?" he asked seductively. I got it.  
"What happened to me being through enough for today?" I shot back, fatigue spiking annoyance into my tone.  
"Well, technically, it's past midnight so it's already tomorrow, a new day." he grinned at me, completely oblivious or just plain ignoring my obvious distaste. Sly bastard.  
"And what if I told you that I didn't want to?" I fired at him. Yeah, didn't think of that, did ya? No, I'm sure ya didn't. Whatcha gonna do now?  
"Don't worry, I can fix that." he smiled with a seductive glint in his eyes.  
"Fix what? I'm tired." I whined.  
"And so you'll fall asleep in my arms." he said charmingly. With a huge grin plastered onto his face, he placed a warm hand on my waist and whisked me into his home.  
As we walked through the house on marble tiled floors, all I could hear was the constant click click clicking of our shoes echoing through the long, lavish hallways. I thought about leaving a few times, ripping myself from his arms, turning back and going home where I should be but his scent... Cologne that reminded me of an open valley. I wanted to cling to him, absorb his scent along with him himself.  
We reached the end of the hallway and opened the door on the right. Inside, a huge double king sized bed sat on top of a fluffy looking white rug. The bed had quilts and blankets all red and white, and was covered with huge, plush red and white pillows. The walls were red and the floor was a light beige. I couldn't take anymore time to examine the room because I was thrown onto the bed, landing on the sea of pillows. Blake immediately came onto the bed, his shirt slowly coming off.  
"W-wait!" I stuttered, trying to get my voice to stay steady, "What happened to just going to bed?"  
"I just can't hold back anymore." he admitted, his pants now lying on the floor and his hands reaching for my shirt. "You're so damn hot, I get hard just thinking about you."  
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" I wondered out loud. He only smiled as his hands guided my shirt astray and his lips found my nipples. He bit slightly and the new sensation made a huff of air escape my lips.  
"See? You want this." Blake said, his lips slowly trailing down my abdomen while leaving a trail of small kisses, causing a frenzy of hot feelings to bounce around in my head. His fingers headed south without hesitation; when they crossed the elastic waist band boarder, it took all of my energy to not come and cause a huge mess in my pants. I was blushing profusely as the temperature started to rise and things started to get hotter. My pants flew off along with Blake's and my underwear. He kissed me with wet, hot lips that soon found their way to the area in between my spread legs. My cock was completely straight after holding all of my feelings for him in. Blake smiled at this though as he removed his mouth from that area. He pushed me onto my back, his body coming over to hover above me. While keeping a seductive stare, his hand went to my cock and started to massage. I closed my eyes in both pain and enjoyment. It hurt enough to make me want to just let go, but then again, I didn't want to lose to him. So I kept it all in as a small pulse started to build up inside me.  
"You're cute, ya know that?" he whispered in my ear, "All you have to do is ask. Ask and you can release all of that pain. And I promise, I'll be right here to hold you."  
I bit my lip, "Not before you." I breathed out, panting like a dog.  
He smiled down on me and took my hands in his. "As you wish." he led my hands to his no-no area. I started to massage as his dick started to straighten and become hard. Before long, I could feel his own personal strain to hold in his feelings. A little spurted out, causing him to moan and me to grin triumphantly. I sat up to meet his face. I cupped his gorgeous face in my hands and kissed him passionately. Still he didn't let go. I put my forehead to his and gaze into his eyes. "No need to struggle," I said finally," Just ask me for permission." I smiled like he had only moments ago.  
He grinned up at me, seeing what I was doing. He closed the space in between us in a kiss filled with a flurry of emotion. It took my breath away. I broke apart, never once letting out gaze break. I nodded with a smile and a relieved smile invaded his face. He closed his eyes and let go of the milky substance that was pent up inside of him. I massaged the area to make it easier because I knew how hard it could be. After he was done, he flipped me over, my back down and his body hovering over me. He smiled, "Your turn love."  
I returned the smile and closed my eyes, releasing the blocked up sensations that I hadn't let surface until then. He too massaged me and held me in his arms. It was weird, feeling this... what would I call it? Wanted. Loved. I hadn't felt this way since before mom died. I missed her.  
Blake looked pulled me back and looked at me. "Okay, what's up?" he asked, his face a picture of complete seriousness.  
"W-what do you mean?" damn, I stammered. Why did I always stammer when it came to him? Regardless, I would not show my real emotion. Blake had saved me from one problem already, no need to ask him to save me from another.  
"I said, what's up? You have something on your mind and it's bugging you."  
"No way, what makes you say that?" Good, good, just keep calm.  
"You completely loosened all of your muscles and went slack. And I know it's not because of you cute little erection emptying because I know you. Please just tell me." his eyes pleaded with me, legit worry swimming in his eyes.  
I sighed, trying to keep from crying at digging up the memory, "H-have I ever told you about my mother?"  
"No, nothing."  
"She died."  
"Oh, I'm so sorry. If you don't wanna talk about it the I-"  
"But it's not just that." I said, cutting him off.  
"What else is there?"  
"She was hit by a drunk driver." a pause, "And it's all my dad's fault."  
"Oh God, did he hit her?"  
"No." I denied, angry tears threatening to spill onto my face, "If he wasn't so damn alcoholic. If he hadn't run out of beer. If my mother hadn't been as kind as she was. If she hadn't gone out into the night to buy him more..." my voice cracked as tears fell from my face, "Then she wouldn't have been on that cross walk that night and that drunk driver that ran the red light wouldn't have hit her. She'd still be here with me. Helping me cope with him." My voice was barely a whisper but I emphasized the word 'him' and made it sound like it burned my mouth just talking about my father.  
I hadn't known how passionate and angry I still was about this topic. I thought I had moved on, numbed myself to the point where I couldn't feel the hurt anymore. But then Blake came along and tore all of that away, leaving me cold, bare, naked, and utterly defenseless to the hurt I felt when I was alone, and the love I felt when he was with me.  
A dark memory from that time suddenly emerged to the surface. Learning that my mother was dead, blaming it on my dad, and swearing that I would never love because bad things always befell people like me. People like me didn't deserve to love or be loved. We were a curse. I vowed, swore by my life, to never love again. Or may my life be forfeited. And yet...  
Blake suddenly embraced me, holding my head fiercely to his own chest, his heart thumping fast and loud in my ear.  
"I will fill up the hole in your heart. I will replace any and all hate that you still hold in your heart with pure love. My love for you will shield you from this horrible pain. I swear by my life."  
"Don't swear by your life." I mumbled, my face still buried in his chest  
"Why not?" he asked, his deep voice vibrating through his chest.  
"Because what if it doesn't work? If you swear by your life and it doesn't work- you'll... die."  
"But I'm willing to take that chance. My love for you is enough for me, you, your mom and dad, and enough for some leftovers. I will teach you how to love and to be loved again. I will mend your hurt and erase the corrosions that have formed on your soul because of your acidic past."  
My vow. I was a person who kept his promises. It- it was something my mother told me to always do.  
I gave out a small, humorless chuckle. "Why are you doing this? All of this stuff just to make me feel better? What even am I to you? A person to be pitied? The person that nobody wants to be? A charity case?! You'll steal my virginity, my heart, and then get bored! You'll crush my heart under you shoe and leave me to wallow in self depression!" I reacted negatively, trying desperately to push him away, to make him pull away. The sheer thought of being completely love... People like me just shouldn't be happy. Ever.  
I pulled away from him, leaving his warm embrace. My heart screamed at me that I was being stupid, to stay with him, but my brain was smarter. He would grow bored with me, move on. He'd find another partner, a prettier girl or a more handsome guy. He'd be happy and safe from the dangers that came with being affiliated with me.  
I had my pants on, my shirt in my hand, and started to leave.  
"Adam." I heard Blake call without turning around.  
"You should forget me. Move on. Find someone else. It's for the best." Tears crept up my throat but I pushed them back down. Not now. I would not cry. I can't love.  
"Wait."  
I said nothing.  
He grabbed me by my waist and whirled me around to face him, our faces just breaths apart.  
"What do you want?" I snarled  
"You." he said in a husky voice, finally closing the space between our lips. He was hungry for me and I could tell by the intensity of his kiss, the way he pushed his hips into my own, the way he moaned, deep and sexy.  
On instinct I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, begging to merge with him while returning his hungry kiss with the fiery passion that resided in my heart.  
But then I remembered the vow again. I stopped suddenly, dropping my arms and forming my lips into a thin, unemotional line. I can't love.  
Blake moved on, trailing kisses down my neck, tracing my collarbone with his lips.  
I pushed him away (with a little more force than necessary) but damn it, I was pissed! I was trying to save both of us. He should just let me do my thing...  
"Knock that off dammit!" I yelled, my eyes warning him to keep his distance.  
"I know you don't mean that."  
"Oh yes I do. You just barely know me."  
"Really? Barely know you."  
"That's what I said." I crossed my arms  
"Then how do I know that you're on the verge of tears?"  
A simple question, but one that packed quite the punch. It was enough to stop everything I was doing, everything I was thinking. I looked up at him then and realized he actually knew. I was usually good at not showing what I didn't want seen but this time, he saw right through my smokescreen.  
Just then, staring at his tender blue eyes, I melted along with my resolve to keep the vow. Mother, I'm sorry. I promise I will never forget you. But I've found love and I hope, wherever you are and whatever you're doing, that you support this choice I've made.  
I started to sniffle and tears started to quietly spill down my face. Blake came closer and hugged me, surrounding me with warmth.  
"You idiot." he whispered, holding me to him. "Why do you insist on hurting yourself?"  
"I'm sorry, Blake. I- I thought that loving someone would replace what it felt like to be loved by my mother. I was stupid."  
"No, that's not true. It was a good resolve, and you should never forget your mother. But I don't think that she would want you to make a vow on her behalf that would cause you to be unhappy."  
He was right. Mother always did everything in her power to make sure that I was happy.  
"I miss her so much, Blake." I whispered into him, my breath small and frail.  
He supported me in his arms, strong and solid. I look up into his bright blue eyes, passion swirling around in a sea of blue. His lips were slightly parted, an invitation to pleasure. I met his lips with mine and I melted into him. Back on the bed, back to being naked. Only this time, I didn't say stop.  
I woke up the next morning in the arms of a sexy devil. He was playing with my hair and moving his fingers along the skin of my abdomen. Blake smiled when he saw my eyes flutter open.  
"Good morning my princess. I see you like to sleep in."  
I smiled, picking up an overly fluffy pillow and smacking him on the head with it, "It's called beauty sleep."  
He whacked the pillow away and studied my naked body. He licked his lips, "I'll say. That's one fine beautiful body you have there. And," he wrapped his arms around me, trapping me in his embrace, "You're all mine."


End file.
